My name is Emma. I am a 15 year old high school student and I have anxiety. A few years ago I was diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder. My therapist thinks I have had it my whole life, though. May is mental health awareness month, this is really important because it provides a platform to inform people about this issue.

People of all ages deal with mental health issues, but I am most familiar with teens with these issues (I also have to experience with mental health past teen years since I am still a teen).

Too often, teenagers who are legitimately dealing with depression, anxiety, etc. are told that they are “just being teenagers.” This is not only frustrating, but can be dangerous. If a teen is acting depressed for a long period of time, or shows an abnormally low amount of motivation to eat, go outside, interact with people, or generally take care of themselves. These are all possible signs of depression and parents and friends need to take these things seriously.

Anxiety can be harder to see. First of all, I cannot stress enough how different being anxious and having an anxiety disorder are. Everyone experiences some form of anxiety at some point in their lives, this can be heightened when someone is in high school due to chemical imbalance, friend drama, school work, etc. but this does not mean they aren’t normal. Stress is something that isn’t inherently bad for you. For example, if you are being chased by a bear, being stressed send your body into “alright time to run,” mode. However, if someone has an anxiety disorder, their body essentially acts like a bear is chasing them 24/7.  

I have compiled some advice for parents who know or suspect their teenager has anxiety or depression and aren’t sure what to do.

1. Approach is everything.  

If your child thinks that you are upset at them for not telling you they were struggling, they will shut down faster than anything you say afterwards to try and reach them.

    2. Do not use any variation of the phrase, “It’s a teenager thing.”

This includes: “That’s pretty common for teens. “

“You’re just being an angsty teen.”

“A lot of kids feel like that.”

“You’ll grow out of it.”

It does not matter if it’s true, they will not want to hear it.

Instead, I recommend: “You don’t feel like this is normal?”

“Do you feel like part of it is this time in your life? Or no?”

Or, what I feel is the best approach overall. Just simply: “Tell me about it.” and “What do you think is a good next step? What do you want me to do to help?”

Overall, I hope the biggest take away would be that even though mental health issues can be hard to detect and deal with, there is a right approach to addressing these issues. Lastly, if they just aren’t ready to talk about it, that’s ok. Showing them that you are with them through it all speaks volumes to them. Unless you suspect or know that they are harming themselves or others, giving them space can be the most helpful sometimes.

-Emma, 15